Feb 14, 2010

Amateurs Night

Valentine’s Day is amateur’s night. The guy picks a restaurant he’s never been to that costs more than he’s ever spent. He antagonizes over the menu like he’s dead-man-walking to his last meal. People that never dress, over dress. One time use lilac bridesmaid shoes make a second go as night-out shoes. She wants to […]

Feb 13, 2010

As the Disco Ball Turns

Karneval at Zum Schneider is not to be missed. Not this year. Not ever. Welcome to Disco 7C. Huckapoo shirts, playboy bunny neck bling, and afro wigs in all colors of the rainbow nation are not required but highly represented. Sylvester Disco Daddy and his glittery cast have transformed the sauerkraut und Dinkelacker hall into […]

Nov 2, 2009

The World's Oldest Living Playboy

The Sphinx is a big old flirt. By big I mean the biggest monolith in the world. At a whopping 73.5 meters long, 6 wide and 20 tall, he’s huge. And by oldest I mean 5000 years old. As for being a living playboy, well, when you meet him you’ll agree, his language may be […]

Oct 13, 2009

Sticky Fingers

Every Sunday after church my Dad’d stop at the newspaper store to pick up The Sunday Times. I walked my Sunday-best into the shop and stood in my father’s shadow just below the register, slid my sticky fingered hand into the candy bin and swiped a piece of Bazooka bubble gum. The pink of it. […]

Aug 20, 2009

How Sweet It Is

It’s not for everyone and it doesn’t last forever but there’s a time and a joy in eating candy that’s so sweet it feels to melt away your teeth. For coconut fans, the British Bounty bar is far more cavity-enhancing than its Yankee cousin the Mounds. Once upon a time, New York City hosted two […]

Aug 1, 2009

Beat It

If there’s a felon on the run, I wanna know NYPD is going on a manhunt. Not going on www.manhunt.com. That NYPD is putting perps on the book, throwing ‘em in the pokey. Not giving ‘em a poke on FaceBook. That they are tough on crime. Not tough on-line. Golly, what’s this cop up to? Brooklyn […]